Homeschool parents are using these 3 simple steps to teach EQ (Grit, Growth Mindset, Gratitude)
Monday October 21, 2019 - By LogoLife
Monday October 21, 2019
By Stanley Chu
Research shows that children who learn emotional intelligence skills have less anxiety and depression; have fewer attention, learning and behavior problems; are better problem-solvers; display greater social and leadership skills; and perform better academically.
– Marc Brackett, Ph.D., Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence Explained
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
Why students struggle with emotional intelligence
Mental Health
Over 10% of all kids between the ages of 12-17 have a formally diagnosed mental health disorder. Finding meaning/purpose has been clinically proven to effectively treat a variety of mental health issues. Kids with higher emotional intelligence have a far reduced risk of developing a mental health disorder.
Technology Addictions
One study out of the US National Library Institute of Health found that almost 40% of university students are addicted to technology. Even more alarming is people that have internet addictions are 41% more likely to suffer from a mental disorder. The findings of this study showed that students with high EI scores are less internet addicted. Meaning that if we can increase emotional intelligence, we can curve technology addiction and open the gateway to a happier life.
Lack of quality communication with peers & Education.
Traditional curriculum isn’t effective especially in the homeschool market given the lack of social interaction amongst students. Variety of interaction and collaboration is required and is hard to get unless students meet other students regularly in a healthy environment. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
What you can do to help (the 3 G's)
(proven & researched methods)
Grit, Growth Mindset, and Gratitude all work towards providing your child the necessary attributes to be emotionally intelligence, accomplish their goals and build meaningful relationships.
1. Grit
A person with true grit has passion and perseverance. Goals are set and followed through. A person who works really hard to follow through on commitments has true grit.
2. Growth Mindset
“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” ( Dweck, 2015)
3. Gratitude
Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
Start building grit & tenacity at home
1. Finding Passion
As children grow older, pursuing a particular interest of their own choosing can help them to identify a passion and understand that practice, hard work and perseverance are the surest way to achievement.
Angela Duckworth is a leading harvard psychologist and a pioneer in her research around “why some students succeed”. She states grit/tenacity is the single best predictor of success. Angela also makes a point to say that finding a passion is necessary to maintain grit, “one of the characteristics of “gritty” people is that they are especially motivated to seek happiness through focused engagement and a sense of meaning or purpose,” (Duckworth Lab Research Statement), so letting a child find his or her own passion is necessary in the long term.
In a story for National Public Radio, Duckworth told Tovia Smith, “I don’t think people can become truly gritty and great at things they don’t love, so when we try to develop grit in kids, we also need to find and help them cultivate their passions.” Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
2. Hard Thing Rule
Every member of the family has to be working on something difficult at any given time. Each person can choose his or her “thing” but it should be both interesting and require “deliberate practice almost daily.” And everyone has to stick with his or her selected activity for a set period of time. No one is allowed to quit mid-season because things seem too hard.
The idea is to teach kids to commit to something and work hard. The learning process is not always fun, and improvement does not come without effort. But if a child is motivated to improve at something because she likes it, then the struggle will seem worthwhile and success will be its own reward.
Be it ballet, soccer, violin, or karate, allowing a child to choose an activity and work at it for a whole season (or longer for older children) not only helps children find and cultivate a passion, it also teaches self-discipline and reinforces the idea that practice begets skill. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
3. Recognize that frustration, confusion, and practice are part of the course
According to the Duckworth lab, those who believe that diligence and perseverance pay off beat out their less optimistic, and often more talented, counterparts nearly every time.
In a 2013 TED Talk, Duckworth said it is the “best idea” she has heard about how to increase grit in children is to teach what Stanford professor and author of the highly acclaimed book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck, calls a “growth mindset.”
Dweck has found that people with “growth mindsets” are more resilient and tend to push through struggle because they believe that hard work is part of the process and they understand that failure is not a permanent condition. Those with “fixed mindsets” on the other hand, believe that success stems from innate talent and tend to give up easily—why work hard at something if you don’t believe you can change anything? Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
Want more ways to teach grit, growth mindset, and gratitude? Send yourself free copy of our in depth guide.
Instilling a growth mindset
Research shows that it’s the way that students think about their ability that really counts.Having a growth mindset (the belief that you are in control of your own ability, and can learn and improve) is the key to success. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
1. Having early learning discussions
At dinner, in the car or at bedtime take time for both the kids and parents to share the answers to these types of questions:
“What did you learn today?” (I LOVE this – so much better than “How was your day?”)
“What mistake did you make that taught you something?
“What did you try hard at today?”
(These are direct quotes from Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.) Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
2. Give feedback on processes only
Praise effort, persistence, strategies, seeking challenges, setting goals, planning, or using creative strategies. Don’t praise personal abilities like being smart, pretty, or artistic. This kind of praise actually can lead to a loss of confidence since kids won’t be smart at everything. They’ll doubt their ability to be good at something that is difficult initially. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
3. Do you know brains can grow?
Explain to kids how the brain can grow stronger and that intelligence can improve throughout your life. Intelligence is not fixed. It’s changeable. This is called brain plasticity. (Aren’t you so glad!?)
What’s more, learning CHANGES our brains. (Again, three cheers for brain growth!) Kids need to know this is possible. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
4. Encourage risk, failing, and learning from mistakes.
Now is the time to let our kids risk and fail. Failure teaches our kids important life lessons. For one, it’s how they learn resiliency
But we often want to prevent our kids from failing, from feeling upset or sad.
Don’t.
We must let our kids fail now so that they can strengthen their growth mindset muscles. If we don’t, they will be adults with no perseverance, with no belief in their abilities to work hard and succeed.
And if when your child fails, celebrate the lessons in the failure. Tell them about all the famous people who failed and didn’t give up.
That being said, I know that especially when you have a child like I do with neuro-differences, she for sure needs support– bumpers, if you will. Failing for us does not mean hands-off parenting. Nor should it for any child.
Failing means not rescuing her when things don’t go her way; not doing her work for her; not making her life my own. It looks like me showing her how to talk to teachers about confusion over a lesson or a bad grade — but not doing it for her.
For me, failing looks like me offering her support and or accountability. “Do you need help getting started on…” or “Please do one thing on your homework by 7 pm and let me know what you choose.” And if she doesn’t do it, that’s her choice and her consequences to live with.
Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
Want more ways to teach grit, growth mindset, and gratitude? Send yourself free copy of our in depth guide.
Cultivate Gratitude
Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
1. Keep a gratitude journal
This can be in any form that works best for your child’s age, skill level and desire. Some kids will want to spend time writing their thoughts down. Others may be more apt to express their gratitude through drawing or painting.
Have your child write down 3 things they are grateful for every morning. Research shows…
Click Here to see how you can transform your child's emotional intelligence in 8 weeks.
2. Take a gratitude walk
While you walk, look for the simple pleasures in the day, such as the warm sun or the birds singing and express appreciation for them. Use this time to ask your kids what they are grateful for.
3. Share your gratitude at the dinner table
Take a moment at dinner time to share what you are thankful for. Go around the table, allowing each family member a chance to vocalize their gratitude.
4. Say please and thank you (and mean it)
Our manners show that we do not believe we are entitled to anything, and that in fact, we appreciate whatever comes our way.
5. Always look for the positive
Find something positive in frustrating situations and discuss it.
Most of what was mentioned here is how to cultivate Emotional Intelligence as it relates to oneself. There are other tools to help cultivate emotional intelligence as it relates to managing relationships and other people’s emotions. Logo Life believes that they have the secret sauce not only to emotional intelligence but to a reliable system behind Dreaming and Achieving. Their curriculum consists of 3 pillars
1. Purpose
2. Creativity
3. Character
Emotional Intelligence is actually just a PART of the Character pillar. LogoLife’s first class will be starting on January 1st. Click Here to see more about the 8 week online program that is launching soon.
